Which is posting anonymous insults on poorly written web sites. I would link to these comments, but they are excessive, childish and embarrassing. I do try to root around psychologically, to discourage them eloquently, but it also involve a lot of name-calling. Beside whatever conclusions you might make about me for wanting or 'needing' to expend energy attacking mediocrity, I wonder, is there something unethical about this activity? I especially wonder because my messages' violence always far exceeds what I would be willing to say in person, as well as exceeding what I in fact believe (no, I do not actually threaten anyone). If I were to leave my name anywhere I am sure I would conserve the message to things I did believe, so the exaggeration is only "for the beauty of it". I do not think this an attempt to hyperbolically get through anyone's armor. It feels as if I am writing little pieces of fiction that sort of resemble me but only speak more angrily. Am I responsible if these writers are wounded by this fiction? No, I do not care if it is unethical for me to do; I am not wondering if I should feel guilty. I want to know if it is legitimate to claim that a person can activate a fictional character and allow it to behave as if it is a real person? Or is this question a disguise for the idea that I would like impunity for what I know others would not approve of?
In my opinion this is what goes on when I am talking to another person (it is most obvious at something like a family event), and as usual convey data and have an affect, et cetera, and leave the conversation condemning myself for a chameleon with no dignity: but how could it be that I am lying to anyone, really? Is it not most reasonable, when confronted with a person with whom there seems to be no natural method of communicating, to simply conjure an appropriate fictive figment of oneself and project it forward? My grandfather or whatever does not seem to go away knowing I am in such self-reproachful agony; so why should I be?
Is there, in fact, some sort of book I am unaware of lying beneath this frustration? I don't have time to read philosophy, god damn it, I swear it seems to be a lifetime commitment and I need simple questions answered!
In any case no, there is nothing wrong with my new hobby. Because besides (you theory-minded people will agree!) my thought did not come from me anyway, originally, isn't this right? so I am merely citing an already existing individual or available strand, who might be me, sort of, but is also someone else. The important thing not being that I am no longer personally responsible for something, but that it would seem like I was trying to conceal something by not mentioning it.
I am glad that you have not yet attacked my blog. It speaks volumes about the quality of my writing.
Posted by: The Red Son | October 01, 2008 at 01:28 AM